Power struggles are one of the most common challenges in relationships. They can look like arguments over chores, decision-making, intimacy, or parenting. Left unchecked, they create resentment, distance, and disconnection.

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) teaches that power struggles aren’t a sign of incompatibility—they are an opportunity for growth, repair, and partnership.

1. Recognize the Patterns

Power struggles often arise from:

Competing needs for control or autonomy
Unspoken expectations
Emotional triggers rooted in past experiences

RLT helps couples identify recurring patterns rather than reacting automatically, turning conflict into insight.

2. Shift From Win-Lose to Win-Win

Instead of trying to “win” an argument, RLT encourages a collaborative mindset:

Focus on shared goals rather than personal victories
Explore each partner’s underlying needs and fears
Seek solutions that honor both perspectives

This approach transforms conflict into connection.

3. Use Repair to Maintain Safety

Even well-intentioned attempts at collaboration can trigger defensiveness. Repair ensures the relationship remains safe:

Acknowledge when you escalate or overreact
Validate your partner’s experience
Reconnect before continuing problem-solving

Repair builds trust, showing that conflict does not threaten your bond.

4. Communicate With Ownership and Clarity

Power struggles often escalate when blame or assumptions dominate. RLT encourages:

“I” statements to own your feelings
Clear articulation of needs and limits
Asking questions with curiosity rather than judgment

Ownership and clarity reduce defensiveness and increase collaboration.

5. Practice Partnership, Not Perfection

Transforming power struggles is an ongoing practice, not a one-time fix. Couples who consistently apply RLT tools:

Navigate disagreements with respect
Maintain emotional safety during conflict
Build a sense of teamwork instead of opposition

Over time, power struggles shift from battles into opportunities for connection and growth.

Final Thoughts

Power struggles don’t have to erode your relationship. With awareness, repair, and collaborative communication, couples can turn conflict into partnership—strengthening intimacy and trust along the way.

If you and your partner are caught in recurring power struggles, I can help. Learn to navigate conflict safely, repair ruptures, and transform disagreements into deeper connection.

Schedule a free consultation with Joann Ikeh, LMFT, to start turning power struggles into partnership today.
📍 Serving couples and individuals online in Florida, Virginia, and California.
📞 Book a free 15-minute consultation today
🌐 Visit onlinecouplecounseling.com
📩 Or email me at joannikeh@joannikeh.com

RLT in Action: Transforming Power Struggles into Partnership