10 Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Getting married is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make—and one of the most meaningful. Whether you’re newly engaged or seriously dating, having honest conversations before marriage can help you avoid future conflict and strengthen your bond.

Here are 10 essential questions to ask before getting married that can set the stage for a healthy, lasting partnership.

1. What Does Marriage Mean to You?

Everyone has different expectations about what marriage should look like. Ask your partner how they define a successful marriage. Is it about companionship, shared values, financial stability, emotional support—or all of the above?

2. Do We Share the Same Core Values?

While you don’t have to agree on everything, aligning on core values like family, religion, honesty, and lifestyle choices helps prevent major conflicts down the road.

Pro Tip: Discuss your non-negotiables early on.

3. How Do You Handle Conflict?

Understanding each other’s conflict resolution style is key. Do you need space after an argument, or do you prefer to talk it out right away? Discussing this helps you manage disagreements in a healthy way.

4. What Are Your Financial Habits and Goals?

Money is one of the top causes of stress in marriage. Talk about budgeting, saving, spending, debt, and financial goals. Will you combine finances or keep things separate?

💡 Use keyword: “financial questions before marriage.”

5. Do You Want Children?

Whether or not you want kids—and how you’d raise them—is a deal-breaker for many couples. Be honest about your feelings, timelines, and parenting styles.

6. What Are Your Career Goals?

Do you see yourselves moving for a job? Is one of you planning to stay home with children? Aligning on career priorities helps you support each other while balancing work and family life.

7. How Do You Handle Stress and Mental Health?

Life brings challenges, and it’s important to know how your partner copes. Are they open to therapy? Do they need support during tough times? Discussing this can help you care for each other emotionally.

8. What Role Will Family Play in Our Lives?

Some couples are very close to their families, while others prefer more independence. Talk about boundaries, holidays, and how you’ll handle family dynamics together.

9. How Will We Maintain Our Connection Over Time?

Marriage takes effort. What will you do to keep your relationship strong? Will you go on regular date nights, take trips together, or attend couples counseling?

10. What Happens If We Grow Apart?

It might feel awkward, but it’s important to ask: What will we do if things get hard? Are we both committed to working through challenges—even if that means getting help?

Remember: Marriage isn’t about avoiding problems; it’s about learning how to face them together.

Final Thoughts

Having these conversations before marriage can deepen your understanding, uncover potential roadblocks, and give your relationship a stronger foundation. You don’t have to agree on everything, but mutual honesty and openness are essential.

If you’re looking for premarital counseling, working with a licensed therapist can help guide these conversations in a safe, supportive space.

Ready to Strengthen Your Relationship?

I specialize in premarital therapy, interracial couples counseling, and helping partners build lasting emotional intimacy. Sessions are available virtually in California, Virginia, and Florida.

📩 Contact Joann today to schedule your free consultation.